brick background, enneagram symbol with text how the enneagram changed my life part 1

 

I’ve explained the nuts and bolts of The Enneagram with you, start here if you missed it, but I haven’t shared how The Enneagram changed my life.

Have you ever wondered why you do what you do?

Or

Have you ever wondered why people do what they do?

This is me. I’ve ALWAYS been curious about why we do what we do.

Here’s an example. In a previous career I worked as a fitness instructor and personal trainer. I believed that if I didn’t look like a fitness model in “Shape” magazine no one would take me seriously as a fitness professional.

I dieted and over-exercised like it was my job. I fought my body and tried to control it instead of trusting it.

I tortured myself willingly. Crazy, right!?

When I finally hit my bottom and clawed my way back to health, I asked myself the following question.

“Why on earth did I believe I needed to look “perfect” to be a fitness professional?”

I’m sure reading “Shape” magazines didn’t help but I was still puzzled as to why I lost focus on the real reason I became a fitness instructor.

Before having access to The Enneagram I would have told you that I became a fitness instructor because I wanted to help people be healthy. This is true but it’s not the REAL reason because it doesn’t explain why I was hell bent on trashing my body in the name of “health”.

As I learned about The Enneagram, I started to see what was really behind my behavior (my subconscious beliefs). I needed to control what my body looked like because if I didn’t look “perfect” (thin and muscular) I wouldn’t be SPECIAL. 

One of the main motivators of my Enneagram type is the need to be special or unique. I wanted to stand out and be noticed. This is who I believed I needed to be to be lovable.

At first, I felt like I got sucker punched in the stomach. That couldn’t be me. Those thoughts are too ugly, too self absorbed and too shallow.

I’m an introvert. I don’t seek out attention but the more I learned about Type 4 – The Individualist, the more I felt like someone was reading my thoughts.

How could someone know exactly how I think and feel? My mind was blown!

This is the power of the Enneagram friends.

Once I identified my Enneagram type, I became aware of some of my subconscious beliefs. I started to see past struggles in a new light. I began to understand why I behaved the way I did.

And this wasn’t even the best part!

This concludes Part 1 and I promise to share the ending to my story next week in Part 2.

Wishing you ease, joy and freedom!

Anastasia Hendryanto
Life Design Coach and Enneagram Teacher

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