Last post we explored needs and desires with the emphasis on owning them. I invited you to let go of guilt, perfection and comparison AND be unapologetic for having needs and desires.
What I wish for you is to have clarity on the following 4 items:
- How you want to feel everyday.
- How you want to spend your days.
- What you want your life to look like.
- Why this matters to you.
This isn’t something you want rush through. I really encourage taking the time to get 100% clarity on what you really want and knowing WHY you want it. This doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind but you definitely need a clear starting point.
It’s easy to get distracted, confused or overwhelmed by the needs of others and lose your focus. I believe this is how women often “lose themselves” or just get a little lost.
The most important pillar that needs to be in place before you can start building the life you want is MINDSET.
Your mindset is how you view yourself and your world.
You need to believe what you want is possible.
Possible for YOU.
Your MINDSET influences how you live and experience your life. Lets dig in to how it works.
Your BELIEFS shape your thoughts.
Your THOUGHTS guide your actions.
Your ACTIONS create your results.
Your RESULTS reaffirm your beliefs.
It’s cyclical. How cool is that?!!
Do you see how your beliefs impact how you live your life?
It’s really this simple.
I believe that there is ONE belief that many humans, especially women get tripped up by the most. This belief is responsible for creating lies, false limits and unnecessary suffering.
The belief is based on the concept of LACK or SCARCITY.
This might sound like…
“There is NOT ENOUGH for everyone” or “YOU are NOT ENOUGH”.
Variations on the same theme also include “I’m NOT smart, patient, creative, thin or rich ENOUGH”. Any insecurity you have could be added to the “not enough” list.
What are you capable of if you are walking around believing that you are not enough?
You are living in survival mode with your head full of limiting beliefs and lies.
In order to THRIVE you must believe that YOU ARE ENOUGH and you have everything you need to live the life you desire.
You need to be looking for examples of women who hold this belief and make them your mentors for what is possible.
Surround yourself with strong women who not only inspire you but can also show you how to create a life you love. These women could be friends you admire; leaders in your community or someone famous you haven’t met in person yet.
Yes, I did type “yet” on purpose. It really depends on what you believe is possible.
When you use the word “yet”, you are demonstrating a growth mindset. If you are NOT growing, you are asleep or numbing out. You are missing out on fully experiencing the greatest gift you’ve ever been given, your life.
Who are your heroines or mentors?
I have many but the first ones that come to mind are Oprah, Brene Brown, Martha Beck, Brooke McAlary, Tsh Oxenreider and Courtney Carver.
Who’s doing what you want to be doing? It’s NOT about comparison, envy or keeping up with The Jones’s.
It’s about being inspired and learning from other’s experiences so you can be more intentional.
How can you learn from them? How can you take what they are doing and create a life that fulfills YOUR purpose?
I take my mindset very seriously.
After making it through depression and an eating disorder I know that if I don’t pay attention and consistently invest in my mindset I can expect anxiety and darkness to creep back in.
This is no way to live.
This is why I am a life-long learner dedicated to personal growth. I read books, listen to podcasts, take courses, attend conferences and work with coaches as part of my wellness program.
Sharing what I’m learning from the best teachers and coaches is my purpose. I’ve chosen life coaching and writing as my way of empowering women to live their purpose AND positively impact their family.
Did you see how I said AND?
You can create a career or a business that fires you up AND still be an exceptional wife, mother, daughter etc.
I think we can agree that a woman’s sole purpose is NOT to be a wife, partner or mother.
There is more. It’s okay to want more and to claim it.
Actually this is a belief that’s part of my mindset. “My time is valuable” is another belief that I hold.
These beliefs shape the thoughts I have about myself. My thoughts inform my actions and with these actions I create my life.
The cycle continues whether we are aware or not.
Now it’s your turn. Take out your journal and hit “reply” to share your thoughts on mindset with me.
What core beliefs make up your mindset?
Which of your beliefs have triggered push-back from others?
Which beliefs caused you to experience resistance from yourself (inner critic)?
How do manage and invest in your mindset?
If you are interested in exploring how to manage your mindset I would love to talk with you. Send me a message and we can set up a time to discuss what your “more” could look like.
Wishing you ease, joy and freedom,
Anastasia Hendryanto
Life Design Coach and Enneagram Teacher
