If I am to use the roller-coaster analogy again, this week has had a few more ups than downs. Yay!
The biggest down has been the weather deciding to go to back to winter. I’m beyond ready for spring and more sunshine. I also realize that if I’m complaining about the weather, I don’t have it that bad. Perspective:)
The highlight has been all the face-to-face connections that are still happening thanks to technology. I’ve been catching up with old friends and making new ones. Yes, it’s a lot of screen time but it’s worth it.
The only rub is that I feel busier than ever despite being home 23 hours a day.
I still have “to do” lists that are too long and “appointments” scheduled on my calendar.
Most of this is self-imposed so my intention for next week is to slow down and focus less on doing and more on being present. I think I’m still suffering from FOMO or possibly FOFB (fear of falling behind) if I don’t keep focused on work and seize every opportunity.
I love what I do so sometimes it’s difficult to stop. Even when I’m not working, I’m thinking about it. I find myself asking, “What is enough?”
I’ll leave the topic of scarcity for another day. If you can’t wait, I highly recommend the book “The 7 Laws of Enough” by Gina LaRoche and Jennifer Cohen . I’m re-reading it and actually doing the exercises at the end of each chapter. They are grounding and have been super helpful.
I also continue to lean on The Enneagram to help me be aware of what’s behind my behavior.
In the previous post I shared that the 9 personality types of The Enneagram are divided into 3 parts called The Centers of Intelligence.
This post is going to be about types 2, 3 and 4 which make up the HEART center. Here is a brief description of each of the types in this feelings and relationship focused center.
Type 2 – The Giver aka The Helper
Attention goes to: sensing the needs and desires of other
Strengths: giving, helpful, supportive, quick to give advice
Struggles: knowing their own needs, having their needs met
Type 3 – The Performer aka The Achiever
Attention goes to: things to accomplish like tasks and goals
Strengths: personable, practical, efficient and action oriented
Struggles: doing too much, not knowing their feelings and values
Type 4 – The Romantic aka The Individualist
Attention goes to: what’s missing/lacking in their life, finding meaning
Strengths: sensitive, empathetic, introspective, emotional depth
Struggles: dissatisfaction with life/envy, feeling different/outsider
I want to point out that you might identify with one of the 9 Enneagram types but don’t agree with 100% of the description. This is normal because we are complex creatures AND our degree of self-awareness varies.
Stay focused on WHY you do what you do, your motivation.
All HEART types have the same dominant emotions of sadness or shame but each type has a different strategy for dealing with it.
A type 2’s sadness or shame is about wanting to be needed and appreciated. Their preferred strategy is to anticipate the needs of others and make themselves indispensable.
A type 3’s sadness or shame is about failure and looking bad. Their preferred strategy is to work harder and focus on achievement.
A type 4’s sadness or shame is about being rejected and insignificant. Their preferred strategy is to keep searching and longing for the ideal situations and relationships.
Next in The Enneagram series I’ll share descriptions of types 5, 6 and 7 which make up the HEAD center.
As I sign off, I want to remind you that you are doing enough and you are enough.
Wishing you ease, joy and freedom!
Anastasia Hendryanto
Life Design Coach and Enneagram Teacher
